Superpowers? My 90-Day Journey on NoFap and This is What Happened

Victor Eaves
8 min readJul 2, 2022


Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

If you could have any superpower, what would it be? Some may choose super strength, agility, or the ability to take flight. With the ever-expanding world of superheroes, it’s easy to get lost in the endless possibilities. The next question in this article is ‘what exactly defines a superpower?’ Are superpowers limited to the Hollywood display typical Marvel movies provide or are there more?

Power is defined in many ways and it can range from political and influential to the stuff of comic books. Power, how it will be defined here, is also known as inner strength. It’s the willpower we all possess, and when cultivated can be used to achieve great success. What sets the powerful from the weak is a mindset, and this mindset has its strengths and weaknesses. The key is knowing what makes our superpowers strong and what might be considered our kryptonite.

Strengths: Meditation, mindfulness, affirmations, healthy habits, nofap, trying new things, going out, diet, and exercises.

Weaknesses: Reactive mindset, mindlessness, negative self-talk, bad habits, junkfood, pornagraphy, fapping, slave to the comfort zone, and being a couch potato.

Just like in the Superman comics, we have the blue sun which can heighten our capabilities or the kryptanite which can weaken us. For the purpose of this report, the focus will be on a particular weakness many consider to be normal. In my experience, however, what is considered normal is often a destructive practice by many and became largely ingrained in our culture. This kryptanite, also known as pornagraphy and masturbation, has a far deeper impact on our willpower than mainstream would have us believe.

I once read this book, titled, “Satan: An Autobiography” and in it, the teachings of Rav S Burg suggests that the adversary of our goal is a very real threat and that if we’re not careful, it can dominate our lives.

Photo by Rishabh Dharmani on Unsplash

Consider the last time you felt doubt when taking an exam or the fear of rejection before approaching someone you wanted to meet. According to the teachings of Rav, it is the adversary, traditionally referred to as Satan, that plants this fear into our conscious. Satan, he emphasises, is not some sort of external force with horns and a pitch fork, but rather an internal dialogue, feeling, or belief that challenges our will of possibility.

Satan represents our comfort zone, our habits, our limits, and the world we come to know and not the world that could be — that requires a different system of belief, that requires faith, mindfulness, and stepping into the unknown, which terrifies our ego (our identity in the world).

If will has the potential to be a superpower, the adversary must be our Lex Luther. Someone once said to be kind to everyone because you never know what someone else is going through, and the truth is everyone is at war with their own Lex Luthers, and in many cases he is winning.

“An estimated 21.0 million adults in the United States had at least one major depressive episode. This number represented 8.4% of all U.S. adults.” — National Institute of Mental Health.

It doesn’t have to be this way. Many people are falling victim to the different kinds of kryptanite in this world and this report’s purpose is to bring awareness to one.

While studies suggests that pornagrphy doesn’t directly result in depression, it does suggest that it is used as an escape from negative emotions, such as depression. Like a drug, the orgasmic release of serotonin creates a temporary release of pleasure, peace, and satisfaction that will be sought out again and again as tolerance rises, reducing the stimulation each time. When this happens, depressession can worsen as the pleasure that was once easy to achieve becomes more difficult.

To achieve the same level affect, many users explore deeper parts of xrated sites they weren’t previously into for the same level of thrill, often isolating themselves from the world, becoming dissatisfied with their partner’s appearance, objectifying other’s more, and even going as far as to acting out what they seen in the film.

Everyone has their own version of themselves once they use this means of media as an escape, what I discovered about myself is that after the orgasm had been achieved, the lack of motivation and confidence followed behind.

It is said that when the dopamine is released after orgasm, it gives the brain the false sense that it has achieved success when in reality we have achieved little more than a cheap temporary release. Where the pleasure we might enjoy from longterm goals has now been reduced to a quick fix, delaying any potential for unlocking our potential.

I first discovered nofap 5 years ago and have been on a on and off tracklist ever since. Nofap is simply semen retention and refraining from watching pornagraphy. Although it sounds like a meme from modern times, this practice has been around for centuries. Everyone from monks, priest, to athletes have practiced this discipline for better productivity.

My Expirience With NoFap

Before NoFap, I considered watching porn to be normal. It was a right of passage to growing up and exploring sexuality in a healthy way. One needed to know what he was doing before getting into the action, right? What better way than to use it like a YouTube tutorial video before taking it to the bedroom? While this felt harmless at first, in hindsight I discovered that it gave me unrealistic expectations in the bedroom, I always felt anxious in normal conversations, I felt bad about myself, I used xsites as an escape from uncomfortable feelings, and my everyday life felt like a big gray blob.

I was a man of vision and goals and here I was wasting my life away, never having enough willpower and grit to pursue those goals for the long haul. I felt that there was something broken inside of me. I felt powerless. I needed my superpower and NoFap appeared to bring me some resolve.

For the purpose of this report, I will breakdown my most notable moments by weeks and months. Within my 5 years of practicing NoFap, I’m currently on my longest streak yet (3 months) and I believe this is what is helping me power through this long ass journal. This is what I noticed every time on my journey.

Week 1

Week one is the toughest. This is when the Lex Luther is strongest. He knows that I can’t believe I’m doing this. My escape from the world has been blocked by none other than me. He knows that all I need to do is unblock it and go back to my fix, “C’mon, I deserve it. It’s apart of my everyday routine. It’s normal. I can start again tomorrow.”

I ignore him. My powers need charging.

After 3 days, I can already feel the difference. I’m no longer feeling completely horrible about myself. I can actually talk with people without feeling like a hollow person. I’m also starting to feel more inspired and motivated.

Week 2

While week one was tough, it isn’t over. While week one was no picnic, the benefits made it worth holding on for another week. Careful, however, Lex Luther has more tricks up his sleeve.

I managed to go a week without fapping, great, but I think I slipped in a few glances here and there (for old time sake) on those no-no sites and still have those desires to release in the back of my mind. It shouldn’t be a problem, right?

Time to go to sleep. In my dreams, amazing things start to happen. Now that I’m no longer releasing everyday, my dreams are more vivid, and with that extra imagination comes the desires from the back of my mind seeping into my dreams. This is how Lex Luther turns himself into a beautiful temptress. Some call this form a succubus, the sex demon that drains her hosts of his powers. Withing my dreams, she tempted me with sex and who am I to resist? Low and behold, this is how I woke up to a wet dream.

The first time this happened, during my last great streak, I fell for the trick and thought all was lost. This, however, was a mistake as even if fall for these wet dreams it doesn’t mean ll is lost. Wet dreams only release a portion of our seed where as the majority is released upon the lifestyle that comes with pornography addiction.

“I must not fall for this again,” and I didn’t. By the end of my second week, I felt more powerful than the first. All was not lost and there was more to be gained.

Month 1

My overall experience with the 1st month is usually great. I feel productive, powerful and like I can talk with anyone. There was the challenge of whether to relapse or not, but by the end of week 3 those urges seemed to subside.

By the end of the fourth week, many of the task of my to-do lists are fulfilled and I’m going out and feeling overall happy to speak with people and I’m looking forward to what the next month has to offer. Take that Lex Luther! I should have done this a long time ago!

Month 2

Flatline. Flatline is a period in the NoFap streak where things were going great until out of nowhere I don’t feel so great anymore. I was flying high, straight to the moon, and now I’m walking — dragging my feet from point A to point B. “What is going on?”

Flatline is known to last anywhere from a few days to weeks to months. It almost feels like a relapse phase where I’m no longer as social as I once was the previous month and I’m no longer as inspired. My productivity slows down a bit, but it isn’t in the gutter and I start to wonder if this journey is even worth it. I don’t know if this particular month was the result of “Mercury in retrograde” or not (and it was), but my communication and thinking process was off. Conveniently, as the 3rd month arrived, so was the end of this Mercury in retrograde.

Month 3

I don’t know if it was self will or determination to push through the rough patches, but I got back out of my shell. I decided I wasn’t going to wait for this “NoFap” feeling to return and so I schedule everything I would do as if I had the same feeling I did during the first month and was going to see it through, even if I didn’t feel like it… and you know what, I did.

I got back to reading more and practicing all the things I learned in my applicable everyday life. I started to keep up with journaling and meditation schedule. I started to build new habits to keep and stick to. By the end of month 3, I was able to start up a business and finish the first draft of my book. It feels like my drive has returned and I’m ready to take on the 4th month with the wind beneath my cape, full speed ahead!



Victor Eaves

Published author, copywriter, blogger, researcher, the mad hatter extraordinaire